Sometimes it seems that, when an important time is coming, such as the Triduum, either something within my psychological state, or an evil spirit, wants to sabotage all my good efforts. I remember, in my first full day of being Catholic, Easter Sunday, I already needed to go to confession. It was a sobering and humiliating start to my supposed convert honeymoon period.
In the past few days it seems like most of my good habits fell through, and bad habits got worse. I woke up this morning and thought, "Is this really the way I want to begin the Triduum?"
But God's power is made perfect in infirmity, and every time like this shows me that my salvation is not a present I give myself, not a product of my own genius and willpower, but something first and foremost initiated and nurtured by God, for His own glory.
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