Absolve Domine

Driving down from Indianapolis to Brookville this Sunday morning, the expanses of straw-colored corn and soy fields and the little two-story white farm houses gave way to steep declines, rocky streams, winding roads, and flame-leaved maples. On a narrow road that jetted out of downtown Brookville and crossed a river, I drove along the valley, finally mounting a hill with an old German church and a spruce-walled graveyard. It was Ss. Philomena and Cecilia Oratory. In an outbuilding the choir was practicing. Two boys stood at the front, opening the doors for parishioners. A tall slim priest sat in the rear confessional, curtain pulled to the side. A few old ladies with their mantilla'd daughters sat quietly with their rosaries. An altar boy scurried from one side of the high altar to the other, lighting two candles as carefully as possible while keeping a reverent distance from the oriental rug at the altar's base.

I came to this place years ago, to see a new place, happy with friends whom I can no longer see, and I came again because I believed I wanted to see that old place where only memories remain. But what I saw was not an old place, but a place that is always new. And I prayed Mass by my friend's little girl, with her cheerful deep brown eyes and her rose-laced veil, whom he was never able to see in this life. Those whispered Latin orations were falling on fresh ears, and my ears freshly, ever old and ever new, as they say. Who would have known back in 2009 that I would be here again seeing these things and feeling what I was now feeling. What a strange and wonderful world this is.

My iPad had only a few songs on it, which I browsed when I ran out of podcasts. One was the tract from the traditional requiem Mass, which I listened to over and over as I drove down those windy roads. And I got the gift of tears.

Absolve, O Lord,

the souls of all the faithful departed

from every bond of sin.

And by the help of Thy grace

may they be enabled to escape the avenging judgment.

And enjoy the bliss of everlasting light.

I don't know why I'm posting this

I thought it was funny and well made and I connected with it a lot. (Some mild adult language)

I have to admit I've been confused these days, like I've been torn between two worlds and I belong to neither; and within the Church, where I feel torn between two sides, and belong to neither. I guess it's better to be bothered by something, than just to stop caring. Sometimes I'm exhausted and just want to stop caring, but I can't.

If God can make us all into saints, He has to be able to start with any canvas. But none of us are merely "any canvas"; our very existence shows us that we are canvases specifically made by Him for this purpose.

First medium format photos

I got my first rolls of film back yesterday. First are ones I took on my grandfather's Brownie Hawkeye camera with Kodak Portra 400 film.

Double exposure, woods along my uncle's pasture.

I took this scene with my digital camera a few weeks ago, trying to imitate medium format. Here is real medium format for comparison (though this one is at f/16).

Afternoon hike in Chewacla

Some rocks in Chewacla

My niece and her cat Bailey

Some photos from my pinhole camera. This was before I knew about reciprocity failure so they turned out really dark. Shot with Kodak T-Max 400.

My dad's bulldozer

The big creek (Same creek as Chewacla Creek, only 20-40 miles downstream)

Nunn-Winston House at Kiesel Park 

Nunn-Winston House

Finally, some of the photos from old film found inside the Brownie camera, from the mid-60s. These were the most shocking of all. I never thought they would have turned out. Shot on Kodak Kodacolor.

My great grandmother at her house. She loved to garden. I like her daylilies.

My grandfather with my mom (left) and aunt. He died one or two years after this.

Granny with Aunt Dot, my grandmother's sister. She was always a lot of fun to be around. I like Granny's lilies. This must have been early summer.

What I've been up to lately

It has been a while. So, what have I been doing lately?

I've been taking a lot of photos. Thing is, I'm using mostly my medium format film cameras (I have three now), and the first few rolls of film are still at the lab, so I haven't had photos to post.

My grandfather's Brownie Hawkeye Flash camera, one of the medium format cameras I've been using lately. My mom gave it to me and I cleaned it (almost) all the way up. It had a roll of film inside still, from the 60s. Film should come back any day now.

I got an annual pass to Chewacla. I've been going there on my way home from work several days a week for the past month or so. At first I was trail running, but I hurt my toe so now I'm just walking and taking photos while my foot heals.

I should get in my first shipment of daffodil bulbs today. The other one should come in early November. I'm looking forward to potting them up!

This weekend I'm planning on going hiking near Birmingham, and maybe the Latin Mass at Blessed Sacrament parish there.

Next weekend I'm planning to go to Indiana. I want to go to the Latin Mass for the feast of Christ the King in Brookville, a tradition I did every year at Ball State. I've got a few old friends to visit as well.

Last weekend I went to St. Mary's with two friends for adoration on Friday night for Our Lady of Fatima. The parish has a large Hispanic presence. We prayed the rosary at the Our Lady of Guadalupe shrine outside afterward. Then we went out for a nice dinner at an Italian restaurant.

I'll post some of my latest photos when I get them back.

Foggy Morning in Macon Co.

Visiting a Monastery

This weekend I visited my friend Br. Placidus at St. Benedict's Abbey. I had wanted to visit him sometime this year and see his garden. Thankfully, I was allowed to enter the cloister garden and do a little touring and gardening on Saturday. I saw some of the biggest marigolds I've ever seen. Other new plants to me were hyacinth bean and seven-son flower, a tree from Asia related to honeysuckle. The soil there is like nothing I've gardened in: darker, friable, almost slimy. It has the look almost of the dolomitic lime I put out around some of my lime-loving plants at home. I guess that would make sense since the soil in Atchison is from weathered limestone, if I have that correctly.

I saw something moving on a zinnia in the corner of my eye on Saturday. It was a painted lady butterfly being caught by a praying mantis!

View from the monastery across the Missouri River into Missouri on Saturday afternoon.

Backside of the monastery: the guesthouse where I stayed is on the left and the monastery is the older part of the building on the right.

Fontside of the guesthouse is on the right and the abbey church is on the left

Benedictine College, down the hill from the monastery

Parish church at Benedictine College. The monastery used to be here in what is now a dorm attached to the back of the church.

On Sunday we went to Kansas City after midday prayers and we visited the World War I Memorial at one point.

I enjoyed praying with the monks. I think I did all the prayers, except Compline on Friday, from Friday at Vespers through Monday after Morning Prayer. Vigils on Saturday and Monday started at 5:45! The sun rises in Atchison almost an hour later than Auburn, or so it seemed.

On Sunday we visited a botanical gardens outside of Kansas City. They had a lot of fall beauties in bloom. I saw Salvia subrotunda for the first time, a flower I've been aiming at buying for a couple of years now.

It was a nice trip and visit.

Camphorweed

In Alabama we are at that time of year when the land is filled with all sorts of daisies and asters. Many of them have flowers that look more or less alike. Sometimes it's hard to get them straight. There was one I saw across the road in a ditch that I liked. Using some plant ID websites, I believe I've found it to be camphorweed (Heterotheca subaxillaris). The plant gets its name from the sticky resin that coats the leaves and stems that has the aroma of camphor. I went back out to gather a branch. Sure enough, it was sticky and smelled of camphor. One more wildflower identified!

Camphorweed (Heterotheca subaxillaris)
This was only a stem I cut. The whole plant was covered in blooms with an appearance kind of like a wild mum.
Maybe I'll collect seeds